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If Only I Were Sleeping

Mel Jones

38yrs ago today, at roughly the 6am hour,

I rose from my bed, walked down the stairs,

flipped the power to the stereo on.

John Lennon’s voice filled the house:

Give peace a chance.

Yes, John, I will, today.

I moved from the polished hardwood floor of the living room

to the Italian tile in the kitchen,

cut the tarot deck on the counter:


Three of Hearts.

Not promising.

I began to make coffee:

Water on, filter, coffee.

Song changed, no DJ:

A Day in the Life

I let the dog out.

Little feet touched the floor upstairs.

Pitter-patter.

The dog barked.

I thought about the balance

Good music, bad card.

I took the glass carafe moved from sink to counter


DJ spoke: today we dedicate our show to

The late John Lennon,

The late…

shot in New York last night.

Shot

The muscles in my hand stopped working

Carafe moved towards the tiled floor

Water comes up out of it.

Droplets, like tears, scattering in the air

This way and that.

Silence filled the universe for an eternity

Water to the sky

Shards of glass shattered across the kitchen

Washed away by water, tears

Light refracting through

Rainbows everywhere.

I didn’t realize I was crying.

The dog barked.

The child stopped.

I reached for the counter—something solid

All across


The universe fractured.

I thought about the gentle man in Central Park

Kissing my cheek.

Brushing a hand across a wild wisp of my hair

Smiling.

Another frozen moment.

Coffee water tears washed my cheek

Imagine all the people...

It filled all of the space around me

In me. Imagine

Oh, John, if only we were sleeping...

Blissfully unknowing

You may say I’m a dreamer

But I’m not the only one...

On the day the music died.

I read the news today, oh boy.

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